Backstage

The Houston Roundup is a three-day AA/Alanon conference held over Thanksgiving that is put on by the GLBT groups that meet at the Lambda Center. 2007 is the 26th annual conference. Starting in March or so each year there is a fundraiser almost every month. The final fundraiser is always the Drag Auction. It is one of the oldest fundraisers as well. People perform numbers and auction off part or all of their outfits. It is great fun and different every year.

I was the MC at the Drag Auction this year. What I keep thinking about are the stories behind the performers. Those stories represent the essence of what is profound about recovery and the power and grace it holds.

The mother and sister of one of the performers were sitting on the front row – loving every minute of it. We all know them because they are big supporters of our friend’s sobriety and they come to parties and birthday nights.

One of the performers has been clean and sober nine days. Nine days. There he was on stage dancing up a storm to a Brittany Spears song. Talk about energy. It was unbelievable. He is just so excited to be sober that he was about to spin off the planet.

We had a last minute entrant – a young man who just moved here from Atlanta and is trying to establish a new sober support group. He wanted to connect and be a part of, so he decided to perform. At the last minute he bought an outfit, rented a guitar, and performed a number.

Then we had a straight gal who is staying sober but struggling and wants to do things differently so she decided to participate. It is hard to explain her number but it was so unique and fun. The fact that she looked drop dead stunning did not hurt either!

So there we were, a room full of sober people, laughing ‘til we cried, enjoying the show and applauding and supporting the people we loved up on that stage. That by itself would be enough but add to it the stories behind the show and you just know that grace abounds.

Infinite Possibilities

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go to Minneapolis and 'tell my story' at an AA Roundup. No, there were no horses, ropes or cowboys! (Or cowgirls for that matter). In AA we often call the conferences we organize Roundups. This particular Roundup was sponsored by the GLBT recovering community in Minneapolis.

The energy was palpable and number of young people overwhelming. I had forgotten not only what it was like to be early in sobriety but what it was like to that young. I DO mean young. A lot of these kids were 21 or 22. Yes, they really can be alcoholics and addicts at that age. Crystal meth addiction is ravaging this country without respect to age, gender, income, or sexual orientation.

I wish so much for these kids. I have my ‘issues’ and my sorrows, but my life in sobriety has been a blessing.

I am not one of these alcoholics who thinks that those who are blessed enough to get sober – and stay sober, one day at a time, are chosen or particularly special. I don’t know that I will ever understand why I was lucky enough to get it and keep it. I believe that all of us who need to get clean and sober have a moment of clarity where we see the path ahead of us and we have to choose which fork to take. In that moment of clarity, which really is sometimes just a moment, our whole history and all its voices are talking at the same time. I have never been comfortable chalking that up to divine providence.

There was a dance the night we got there. Oh, did I tell you – five of my friends went with me. We run in a pack and hate to miss anything. See why I feel blessed? Anyway, the music was loud, contemporary, and there was a very edgy drag queen who was the DJ. The kids danced non-stop, sweating non-stop as well (that’s a whole other story). They were a delight to watch.

Did I feel old watching them? Oh I guess so but more than that I just felt tickled. They full of energy and sexuality to be sure but they had their innocence back. You could see it in their eyes. They had back the kind of innocence that only alcohol and drug addiction can take from you. It steals your soul and breaks your heart and the heart of everyone who loves you.

I pray that they never lose it. I pray that their moment of clarity will bring them all that mine has brought me.

Forever Changed In An Instant

The news story about a deputy constable that died from injuries he suffered when a vehicle struck him as he wrote a traffic ticket is not an easy one to read. The Police believe the driver of the SUV was distracted, possibly by talking on a cell phone, when his vehicle struck the deputy. The story has stirred up a lot of conversation where I work. Some of us know the man who hit the deputy because we worked with him at former employer. I only knew him enough to say hello in the hallway. Everyone I talk to says he is a good man - good husband, father, provider, devoted to his church.

Why is this story making such a difference to me? I have no idea what was going on at the time when the car of the man I know struck the deputy. I only know it could have been me. I talk on my cell phone when I drive all the time. I am too embarrassed to tell you all the other multi-tasking things I do when I drive. Why do I do it? Is it because I am that important, that busy, that involved? No, I do it because I just don't stay present. As if there is any other dimension but the present to really live in!

If anyone would have told me eighteen years ago when I got sober that learning to become present, staying present, and taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically would be so mind boggling I would have laughed. I probably did.

My heart breaks for everyone involved. The lives of two families forever changed in an instant.

All we have is today. All we have is this moment. What am I doing with my moments?

The 610 Loop

Sunday night I attended the Breaking the Silence plenary session at St. Paul's UMC. Breaking the Silence is a community of people in the Texas Annual Conference of the UMC who disagree with the UMC's opposition to ordination of homosexuals and same-sex marriage. That is the nice way of saying it. The official stance in the UMC Book of Discipline is that the "practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching." Pretty much says it all.

One of the pastors who spoke is a man whose son left the UMC after seminary because he could not be ordained if he came out. Continuing to hide who he was he considered incompatible with Christian teaching. The son is now an ordained minister in the UCC.

In the past the father had not openly supported his son. He did so publicly at the Breaking the Silence luncheon at the Texas Annual Conference in May 2007. The father is the pastor at a UMC in Montgomery County. Since May 2007 over 100 families have left the congregation along with $250,000 in operating income.

I have no issue with the fact that there are those who believe that homosexuals should not be ordained or allowed to marry. That is so not new information to me. Irritating, painful, sad information, but not new.

The saddest part of this story is that the families that left think this sends a message to the pastor. They think their actions hurt the pastor. The reality is that their actions hurt the remaining members of the congregation - their friends and fellow Christians. The reality is that it hurts the UMC. The reality is that it hurts the Body of Christ.

In the long run it will not hurt the pastor - it will make him a more effective pastor. A more compassionate, understanding, just pastor. A more loving, tolerant Christian. A better man.

I have always said that you don't have to go too far outside the 610 Loop to see that we have not come very far in making this a more inclusive and just world.

I hate being right.